It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
