He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
