We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
