Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You made out with two different species that night
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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