She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
