Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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