I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
