i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize