Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
