Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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