I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
