I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize