I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize