One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
