By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'