Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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