Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  therell be strippers and coke right?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  no strippers. just coke.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i hate this fuckin recession

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  (202): therell be strippers and coke right? (703): no strippers. just coke. (202): i hate this fuckin recession http://tfl.nu/1tv9
  Replies (22) Good night (11048) Bad night (2825)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.

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  (325): Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with. http://tfl.nu/wag5
  Replies (13) Good night (3431) Bad night (1312)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.

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  (215): i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history. http://tfl.nu/28mn
  Replies (12) Good night (2839) Bad night (1166)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  Don't EVER smell your tampon

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  (831): Don't EVER smell your tampon http://tfl.nu/zvwb
  Replies (89) Good night (1536) Bad night (19784)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.

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  (727): You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on. http://tfl.nu/u7oz
  Replies (22) Good night (1259) Bad night (5333)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just arrived at our party

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  (708): Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis (773): Just arrived at our party http://tfl.nu/7hao
  Replies (18) Good night (3909) Bad night (875)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters

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  (401): Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters http://tfl.nu/a1rx
  Replies (2) Good night (594) Bad night (1111)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.

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  (361): There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work. http://tfl.nu/jgfn
  Replies (8) Good night (1880) Bad night (597)
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  (650): View more from California

  You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?

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  (650): You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right? http://tfl.nu/n9sw
  Replies (4) Good night (893) Bad night (720)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow

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  (207): Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow http://tfl.nu/s6a2
  Replies (2) Good night (812) Bad night (505)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.

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  (719): I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in. http://tfl.nu/k5k2
  Replies (11) Good night (2450) Bad night (1018)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.

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  (804): I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager. http://tfl.nu/fc01
  Replies (2) Good night (1127) Bad night (520)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.

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  (218): There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon. http://tfl.nu/foxi
  Replies (5) Good night (1670) Bad night (501)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me

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  (479): I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me http://tfl.nu/cdlh
  Replies (7) Good night (1034) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.

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  (703): I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone. http://tfl.nu/d85b
  Replies (1) Good night (554) Bad night (323)

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