i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
