I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
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All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
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We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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