Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
