No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
