I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize