does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize