The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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