My hand turned me down
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
