I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
What drink are we having for lunch?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
