I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize