is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
