how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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