dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
