I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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