Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
