I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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