You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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