We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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