He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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