I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
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I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
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A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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