carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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