Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
