it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Life is so much better after having sex.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
