This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
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Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
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It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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