absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
