whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
