The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
