last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
