Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Shame - the story of my life.
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