i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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