Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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