You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
They took my balls.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
