you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
