hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
sex in a hospital.. check
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
