He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
