I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
