Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
