I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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